Do I Hear $2,000?
Gold went to $1,909 today–Here’s what the Good Book says
On the first day God created economy. A man who learns comparative advantage will be more efficient and have more free time to pray and do good works, he explained.
On the second day God created markets. Had Eve learned the art of negotiation and the value of prices, she might have bargained for something better than an apple and kept man from falling into original sin, he observed.
On the third day God created coins. I thought they’d figure this one out but they didn’t. So rather than bartering clamshells for ginko root or saris for sandals, I’ll give them a solid gold coin for universal exchange.
On the fourth day God created banks. I’m not sure this is my best move, he said. But the pirates are burying gold coins in chests on islands, the Royals are socking them away in leather sacks in the palaces, the women look like harlots with all the precious stones they’ve bought with the coins, and there’s this guy running around Sherwood Forest gabbing pouches of the coins to give to the poor who use them to buy drink. If everyone is either hoarding or drunk, it raises hell with the money supply and means I don’t get the growth I planned on in day one. So I’ll treat the bankers as a necessary evil.
On the fifth day God created paper money. I just gave them solid gold coins and I see the leaders are already clipping off small amounts of gold for themselves and calling it seignorage which is theft by another name. Clipping a corner off paper money will make the corner worthless. As I feared, nobody trusts the bankers.
On the sixth day God created a central bank. Today it’s pretty clear that man isn’t smart enough to even manage paper money. We have Smith bills, Nash bills, O’Reilly bills, Bush bills. They even put their faces on the paper which creates false idolatry. Let a Federal Reserve create one money for universal exchange and call it the dollar and regulate banks to make them trustworthy/
On the 7th day God created gold bars and rested. Sonofabitch, he said, I guess it’s back to the future. After Uruguay, Argentina and even the Germans printed paper money until it was worthless, I figured the smart guys would wise up. Then we get Greenspan and now this Bernanke running a digital printing press for the dollar, the currency I decreed as world standard. Then they insult me personally by calling it Operation QEI and QEII, like I’m supposed to think its a new ocean liner. So who would trust them to regulate banks.
The BS stops here. I’m pissed enough to throw lightening shaft into Jackson Hole, park a black cloud over Princeton and send a tremor down Constitution Ave strong enough to crumble that marble Fed palace right into Greenspan’s favorite tennis court next door. Maybe with a little luck, the Goldman “doing God’s work” guys will be inside.
